This was an awkward dare to bring up without arousing suspicion in my wife.
“What are the rules of engagement?” As in, decide how you and your spouse will handle disagreements without tearing one another’s heads off.
It took some time, but I was able to bring this up without sounding too weird. We had a minor disagreement about packing boxes to send to the US, and I was able to address the problem by offering to discuss some long term solutions to our fighting. She was a little surprised and confused, but I kept blabbing away to keep her from really looking too deeply at my motivations.
We basically came up with many of the same ones suggested in the love dare book, which I’m going to take as a good sign. Some of them include:
- Never even joke about divorce
- Never hit one another
- Bring problems up sooner than later (not at bed time)
- Don’t go to bed angry
- Take time outs if necessary (and let the other take a time out without harassing them for it)
- Be quick to listen and slow to speak
- No passive aggressive responses or false agreements in order to appease the other
I was satisfied with this. It got a little silly in the end even. We were talking about not hitting the other person or physically fighting, but then we pretended we were ninjas. We pulled a few kung fu moves and play fought, which we decided was perfectly acceptable – even if we looked a little ridiculous in public!