The book said this might be the most difficult dare of all 40 days. Today is the day when I let everything go and don’t hold a grudge for any of the wrongs that Kristin has done to me. Today is when I breathe the fresh air of forgiveness, releasing any burdens I have against her and give them to God.
Although I can imagine how this dare can easily be called the most difficult of them all, I’m excited to say that this dare was accomplished before it even began.
Kristin does many little things that annoy me. It’s true. And I know that I equally cause her grief with my eccentricities. But that’s just it. They’re little things, and we’ve both learned to let a lot of this go and accept one another for who we are. (At least mostly!)
What I’m trying to say is that I’m not holding a grudge against my wife. There is freedom in our relationship, and she is fully forgiven. There will always be times when we need to discuss a problem and work out a solution, but that’s just part of marriage and learning to grow together.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:4-5
Sometimes I am way too competitive.
One activity that brings out this destructive personality trait is the game Settlers of Catan. Often I have the right dose of fun, mixed with a passion to win. But occasionally I become quite overzealous in my thirst for victory, and the result can be quite embarrassing. In fact, I can count those embarrassing moments, and that sum is two. Both times I erupted in moments of accusatory anger, mostly out of a strong sense of justice and fairness. The other players were CLEARLY being unjust and unfair (to me). I wanted vengeance for the way they stole my wheat port and repeatedly placed the robber on my key resource cards!
As an outside reader, I’m sure this all makes perfect sense, and you’re all cheering for me to win.
In reality, both moments upset the other players, put a damper on the fun, and were a far cry from a fair and just reaction. I want to learn to keep things in perspective and take things in stride. It’s just a game, and the real purpose of games is not just to have something fun to do, but rather about interacting together and living in relationship.
My friends have thus far continued to love me and have even invited me to play Catan again. That’s probably because I have friends that are incredibly awesome – on a scale of awesomeness far greater than myself. If this is the case with Catan, how much more does God love me in spite of all my ridiculous outbursts and moments of stupidity?! Now that’s something to think about.