Love Dare – Day 26

Here are some good questions for me to answer today:

  • How deliberate am I about making sure my wife’s needs are met?
  • Am I overly concerned about Kristin fulfilling my needs?
  • Am I owning up to my own faults?
  • Can Kristin say that I wronged her or wounded her in any way and never made it right?

The point of me answering these questions is to learn to take responsibility. Responsibility for my wrongful actions. Responsibility for my wrongful omissions. Responsibility to learn from my mistakes and change my future behavior.

As I thought about this, the love dare book reminded me to keep something in mind as  I did: “This doesn’t mean you’re always wrong and your spouse is always right. This is not a demand that you become a doormat…Part of taking responsibility is admitting when you’ve failed and asking for forgiveness.”

Today I took the time to reflect and ask God for forgiveness and the strength to be a better husband. I know that I regularly make mistakes and have a lot to learn. I know that I’ll have to consistently work on this aspect of our relationship. Fortunately, I couldn’t come up with something that Kristin and I haven’t addressed. We’re pretty good about discussing our problems soon after they arise, and I hope this will always be a trademark of the way we handle conflict.

Learning About Leadership

God has blessed me with leadership qualities. However, this is something that I’ve been reluctant to embrace. I tend to err on the side of gentleness rather than on the opposite end where tyrants are born. However, it’s time I “seize my manhood” (no sexual pun intended) and be the man God has called me to be.

It’s time I step it up in my marriage, and it’s time I embrace responsibility. Some things that come to mind are: setting budgets (and sticking to them), planning my travels (and not just letting Kristin do that), helping more with chores and errands (especially paying the bills), setting more long term goals (in both my career and marriage), making date nights sacred again (and not letting things like the NFL interrupt these days), and honoring a Sabbath day (and actually spending it with Jesus).

One other area that I want to practice leadership is with my guy friends. Somehow I’ve ended up as the point-man in a small group on Tuesday nights where we’re working through a curriculum called Men’s Fraternity . I’ve participated in a similar group with Union Church, and it was quite eye-opening. However, I haven’t put all the things I learned into practice. My goal, as I watch this DVD sermon series a second time, is two fold: 1. To more intentionally apply the things I learn, and 2. To facilitate discussions well with my guy friends, being the leader I know I can be.

These are seemingly insurmountable goals. However, I know they are achievable in time and with God’s help.

I can do all things through him who strengthens me. -Philippians 4:13

And this other verse is why I want to be motivated to do these things:

If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is,seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. -Colossians 3:1-3